Probably, each of us was experiencing an obsessive need to restore the destroyed personal relationships. In relations with a close person we form a role pendulum, which forces us to adhere to certain rules of behaviour and stabilises the structure of the formed relations.
During the parting time, when a loved one left you, you feel uncomfortable. But if your loved one preferred another, then you feel destroyed. This feeling remains the same in the case when there is no love between you. It's not a stereotype of your relationship with a partner that motivates you to keep a broken connection.
This role-playing pendulum of relations in society makes you appreciate yourself, and your inner significance awakens in you a sense of inferiority.
Emotional recovery includes an algorithm of automatic actions aimed at restoring one's own worth.
The analytical system of the organism creates a sense of the need to restore a broken connection by force close to narcotic breaking.
The one who has left does not have such feelings because there is no emotional experience associated with his own underestimation, in addition, he has already formed a pendulum in cooperation with another partner, and this pendulum so captures and excites him that the former partner may have even hates because he oppresses his new sense of happiness.
And what, in your opinion, will be felt by the one who left, when the partner left by him finds a replacement? His inner significance also creates a feeling of inferiority from the feeling that he was preferred to another. His emotional message will hook the pendulum and fix the experience on this frequency. The subconscious will stimulate actions to restore one's own worth.
A sense of jealousy can torment him all his life, mentally returning to thinking about his humiliated situation, although he already loves another person.
You ask: "But what about unrequited love? Here, too, are strong experiences of one and at the same time the indifference of the other. At the same time, people are not connected with each other, and they should not be humiliated by someone's taste preference when choosing a partner. This is the same mechanism. In this situation, rejecting you, reduces your importance.
The similarity is that its own importance, noting its humiliated situation in the unfolding personal relationships, squeezes the chest.
Emotions will hook the pendulum, the pendulum will fix attention on its information frequency, and undivided love can jam your heart all your life and stimulate you to create a desired close relationship. Very painful situations that hurt someone's significance. The principle of replacing the sighing object in accordance with the saying "a wedge of a wedge kick out" does not work.
The feeling of losing one's own value is a stronger experience than a sense of acquiring it. If you decide that what happened humiliates you and fixes on it, then the tortures will not end.
If, however, you realize that the non-established relations in the future would only inflame and bring the situation to the limit, you can conclude that parting is for each of you a path to happiness, and each of you has the right to do so. Only a methodical self-suggestion of the statement about your high qualities and that this is an opportunity to change and improve your life will give you strength and restore your peace of mind.
Sexual relevance is the lever of natural selection and therefore very important in the life of every being. This is the main factor in determining the value of the properties of the individual, he characterizes the possibility of procreation. Some living beings immediately after mating (male mantis and some species of spiders), and some simultaneously with the appearance of offspring complete their life path (octopus and salmonids of fish).
Not rare in nature is the relationship between the sexes, in which the possibility of mating is valued above life. For example, the male peacock has decorative plumage, which makes it an easy prey for predators, but nature retains this feature. The quality of the male plumage determines the sexual choice of the female. Thus, lush plumage reduces the likelihood of survival, but increases the likelihood of leaving offspring.
Nature has associated sexual choice with species selection, and it is important to you, you unconsciously and strongly react. Realize that this is an automatic reaction of the body, accompanied by a change in the hormonal balance of the body, and do not go on about the sexual instinct, otherwise it will be very difficult for you.
You ask: "Is it worth using Freiling to try to regain lost family relationships?"
Answer yourself a few questions. What do you want to receive and what will you give in return? Most often people break up because they could not or did not want to meet each other's own expectations.
It is difficult to regain trust and feelings again. What is your desire to restore the destroyed union? Do you want to return some special atmosphere of relations, return material opportunities or restore a sense of security and peace? Do you want to return feelings? Or does this only mean your abandoned value in you?
Restoring material wealth will not create a sense of happiness. Feelings will not return, peace will not return and the atmosphere will be not the same. There will be a sense of detachment and mistrust. Perhaps, the break with a partner saves you from extreme deterioration of relations and health, but it seems to you that everything goes wrong. Tell yourself that everything is going right.
Take care of yourself: work on your image and do not neglect the sport. Sports will relieve nervous tension. A conscious perception of the gap as an overdue mismatch of interests, the cessation of the return of thoughts back to the past and the bright image of the future will bring you back to life. What awaits you ahead?
Every new turn in life is the way to a new, interesting and good, if so consider and enthusiastically engage in this.
